A few weeks ago, I started to sort of do one of those half hazard breast self exams on myself as I was lying awake in bed and thinking about how my mom had told me she had a mammogram and was fine, and of my Aunt who died much too young from breast cancer.  I was just kind of feeling around the center of my breasts when two oddly hard things were sticking out a little, enough to be noticed, and I started to work myself up, thinking either they were the top of my rib cage and one just stuck out a little more than the other, or that this could be something to possibly be alarmed about.

I kept feeling and kept feeling around there until the area became a bit sore, and I even had my boyfriend feel around the area to get his opinion.  He said that I just needed to get it checked out, and he thought it was probably nothing, but better safe than sorry especially since I have breast cancer running in the female side of my family.  So that day, we happened to have family in town.  As I had just discovered what I thought could be alarming lumps or something potentially totally inconsequential, I was in a rotten, anxious mood. 

We were en route to the airport to drop one of our visitors off, and my boyfriend was making conversation, but to me I thought he was questioning me, and since I was upset to begin with, I snapped at him (in front of our guests, yes I’m now embarrassed), and we had a hard time pretending like there wasn’t tension as we ate our Quizno’s subs, me almost choking on tears that I wouldn’t let surface, and him equally as emotional because he knew how upset I was but also he was angry with me and hurt that I had snapped.

It was truly one of the most awkward situations I have ever been in.  It seemed my hormones were on full blast, and I couldn’t control my own emotions because I was so fearful that these “lumps” could be something to worry about.  After we dropped her off, I was able to somewhat control myself, and told myself that I would try not to worry until I could get in to the doctor for her to hopefully tell me that it was nothing, it was indeed just a slightly irregular rib that was sticking out and that was it.

Thanking God after I left the doctor’s office, she had agreed with me that it was nothing, but nonetheless wanted me to keep an eye on it for any changes, increase in size, soreness, etc.  I did and am happy to report that it was just my overactive imagination at work, perhaps combined with some stress and anxiety I’ve been having in my personal life lately that added to the convincing there was something wrong.

My doctor nonetheless said that I was smart to come in, after I admitted I was  bit embarrassed for being overly concerned over what happened to be nothing.  She said that is how you catch things and that I should never hestitate again if I’m concerned, especially since I have breast cancer in my mom’s side of the family.  So ladies, even if you might be a little embarrassed and fear your doc thinks you’re a hypochondriac, go anyways. 

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Posted in Breast Cancer Prevention by Breast News Girl No Comments Yet