Emotional Impact of Breast Cancer on Couples

One part of breast cancer that isn’t addressed nearly enough by the caretakers that are thrust into the situations, such as the hospital, medical centers and the oncologists themselves, is the fact that breast cancer has a real emotional impact on couples.  It often puts a strain on even the most loving and supportive of relationships because of the unresolved feelings of guilt, pain, frustration, and even resentment that may brew over the woman’s illness and her partner’s and her feelings the go along with the debilitating and crippling feelings that come with such a serious illness.  Especially the more serious the disease gets or the further into stages it gets.

There are a lot of things that couples in intimate relationships really don’t want to talk about because they are afraid it will make them look weak or not supportive enough.  Things like feelings of lessened sexual attraction, perceived selfish motives of wanting one’s spouse to be in good health, spirits and physical appearance. These things are not only embarrassing to talk about, but they are hard even to admit to one’s self.  Often times men feel guilty and helpless that they cannot help their wives or their partners out of their pain, and they also feel conflict because they feel selfish that maybe now their own needs won’t be met.

Here they are, threatened with the loss of their loved one, and also fighting feelings over viewing the breasts, which were once an object of desire and eroticism as the very thing that threatens the life of the woman they treasure, love and need, and who may also be the mother of their children already or in the future.  They face feelings of fear over being left alone, over having their lives as they know it taken away from them, and yet they don’t feel they can talk about this with their partner because she is already going through enough as it is.

Women have it even worse, because they are the ones that are facing the possibility of mortality. Women often feel guilty too because we often feel that we always have to be the consummate caregivers and providers of comfort and affection toward our spouses and any involved children, and when that prospect is threatened, women often feel conflicted over taking care of themselves properly and taking care of their families. They often find this hard to voice to their spouse, and this becomes a communication breakdown that can really harm the relationship.

Getting counseling is vital for any couple going through the journey of a cancer battle if they are to come through it intact and without any real drama or serious damage to the relationship.